What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops