Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sometimes I question my sanity... Occasionally it replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ur mum

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops