you just read an anti-joke

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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kill yourself

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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UN

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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breasts

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Stop procrastinating.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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