selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

I shot a bitch.

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

Knock, knock. Door opened.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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