whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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no

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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i am and me is i

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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