Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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Continents are large islands.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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