Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Why did the basketball team from Detroit win the youth championship? Because they had a good coach amd dedicated, hard-working players.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops