If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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what di the black kid get 4 x-MAS nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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