Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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matt is fat

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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Take wrong turns

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops