How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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what is orange? an orange

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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Yo Mama is so dumb, that she scored significantly below average on the SAT's.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops