How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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