Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

How's the weather? Good.

pudding

Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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