How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

What does a black person call black friday? Friday

What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

I fantasize about having sex with a moose

Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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