Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Brain fart

thumb_up thumb_down +13

when debbie meets downer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops