What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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