What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

thumb_up thumb_down -4

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

destiny

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a black man that sells drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops