A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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whats dumb and small? dandruff

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops