whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

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chirs

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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what do you call obama a dumbass

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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