I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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This is not a joke

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EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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Female Orgasms

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

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Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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What's hotter than a beautiful girl in a bikini? Among many things, the Sun, the Earth's core, the inside of a volcano...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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