"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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Wolfjob.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops