whats yellow after cani...nathan

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what has genitial warts? me

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

thumb_up thumb_down +14

which one is easiest

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops