What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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