Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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your mom is so fat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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when debbie meets downer

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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