How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

Black people stink of shite!

The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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