What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

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What hapenz when u drnk very hot cup of tea after lunch ............:-> nothing ... Cup becomes empty

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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roses are red violets are blue

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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