What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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69.9

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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hrih

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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