"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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pedophile

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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123457

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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hrih

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops