What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Obama 2012

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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Knock knock

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops