What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

thumb_up thumb_down +3

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

lebron

thumb_up thumb_down -45

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

thumb_up thumb_down +116

What rymes with milk..... milf

thumb_up thumb_down +90

A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

34

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

you.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops