What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

Arrow to the Knee

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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