how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

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Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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