Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

Whats better at driving? A pig or a chicken. Neither because they are animals and it is impossible for the to even posses the power of controlling a moving vehicle.

Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

What is duke oxtoby? legend.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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