Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

whats worse than being payton johnson being black

What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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