What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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This sentence is a lie.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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