What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Im cute hehehee

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops