why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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A black man walks into a bar. No comments were said to him for everyone else was paying attention to their other peers.

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what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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