it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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Obama being reelected.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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White NBA players.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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