Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why does Justin Beiber look like a girl? Because he achieved international fame and fortune at a prepubescent age, and has made more money before he turned 18 than most people will in their entire lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anthony sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops