What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

I enjoy Popcorn

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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