I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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Female Orgasms

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Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

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EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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what do you call obama a dumbass

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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Knock Knock CUM IN!

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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