What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Women's rights

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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