What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

thumb_up thumb_down +14

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

no

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops