What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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Your mom is not fat!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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I C U P White stuff

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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