Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

Woman's Rights

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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