Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Black People

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

thumb_up thumb_down +24

there was once a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops