What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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