What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

Why did the fish fly It didn't

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

Why Was 6 Afraid of 7? Because 7 was a Pedophile

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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