What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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honest politician

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops