I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +10

your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops