You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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who is awesome? no one...

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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Heyy everyone text this number 320-510-3277 Kay ask him why he poops the bed at age 17 .. His name is mike geier.. Haha

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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