Dude man, I'm high...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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GOODBYE

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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