One below was by me: Walter H

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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