How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops