Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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GOODBYE

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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