Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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