life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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I wonder where the hell Hitler is

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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